You could die tomorrow.
Does that scare you?
Or does it motivate you?
Most of the world’s population have a deep aversion to death, and for good reason.
Even how I’ve started this article would be seen by most as a bit morbid.
Death is one of the few things in life that we can be truly certain of.
And, believe it or not, it’s also one of the most powerful tools we can use to help us live a better life in the present.
Some of history’s greatest minds often kept the idea of death at the forefront of their thinking.
I think we can learn something from them.
Why Are We So Scared of Death?
Well, first off, it just doesn’t seem that fun really.
But moving away from the obvious, I think our aversion to death stems from how we view ourselves and the human race.
For good reason, we think we’re more important to the world than the ants we tread on every day, so it makes sense that we believe our death is more significant than that of an insect.
But ants, just like every other living organism on this planet, play a unique and important role in keeping this giant rock spinning.
Except for jellyfish.
Surely the world would continue to rotate if all those bloody things died off.
But seriously, the world, universe, ‘god’, whatever you want to call it, doesn’t give a crap if you and I think we’re more significant than an ant—because in reality, we aren’t.
Death is a natural process, for all things.
We can make up fantasies about heaven and hell so we have something to cling onto when death comes knocking, but really we’re just going to evaporate into thin air like every life form has before us.
Accepting Death As The Cost Of Living
Okay, now that I’ve covered the simple and straightforward topic of what happens to us when we die, let’s talk about how to actually use death as a way to make our lives better.
“Death: something like birth, a natural mystery, elements that split and recombine.”
Marcus Aurelius – Meditations
The acceptance of death is a cornerstone of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, a not-supposed-to-be-published book that was originally written as journal entries from AD 161 to 180.
Keep in mind, Marcus was the Emperor of Rome at the time, so he had all the power and fortune anyone could ever want.
Yet he still recognised that no matter what role someone played, they would all end up in the same place.
“Alexander the Great and his mule driver both died, and the same thing happened to both. They were absorbed alike into the life force of the world, or dissolved alike into atoms,” he said.
I think the reason why we see ourselves as more significant than other living beings is because we think we have more to lose.
When we die, we lose our families, assets, wealth and, most importantly, time.
But as Marcus explains, there is only one thing we truly lose when our day is done.
“The longest-lived and those who will die soonest lose the same thing.
The present is all that they can give up, since that is all you have, and what you do not have, you cannot lose.”
No one, or no thing, wants to die.
But the idea that we have more to lose than simply our presence on the Earth is what makes us so afraid of death in the first place.
Using Death To Live A Life We Want
Steve Jobs was on death’s door for years before finally succumbing to cancer.
But what some people may use as an excuse to give up, he used as fuel to continue building one of the greatest brands in the world.
“Remembering I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Steve Jobs
I talked about how heavily our perceptions influence our lives in this recent article.
The inevitability of death does a great job of squashing a lot of these perceptions and limiting beliefs that stop us from doing the things that we really want to do.
You wouldn’t care so much what people think when you’re close to death, would you?
That’s why your grandma won’t hesitate to tell you that you’ve gotten a bit chubby.
When the idea of death is closer, you care a lot less about doing and saying things just to fit in.
“At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realise that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death,” Jobs said.
Even if your death may be 60 years away, everything you say and do now will be forgotten forever.
All of your successes, failures, embarrassments and triumphs.
Everything you’ve worked for, wished for or suffered over.
Gone.
Just like everything before it.
Isn’t that the greatest reason there is to live a life that you actually want to live?
What’s The Source Of Your Happiness?
“Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last. But surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”
W. Somerset Maugham
Unfortunately, the only way to see death in a positive light is to truly live in the present moment.
I say unfortunately because it’s our very lack of presence that has made us so afraid of death in the first place.
The thing that’s helped me most is taking note of where my happiness comes from.
Does it come from a walk in nature, listening to the birds and feeling the earth beneath my feet?
Or does it come from money, a new toy I just purchased, or external validation from others?
The truth is, our happiness and fulfilment in the modern day will always come from a mixture of both.
But the more you tip the scales in the general direction of the ‘good stuff’, the more rewarding your life will be.
The slow-burning, delayed gratification has to outweigh the cheap dopamine that comes from instant pleasures.
What the ‘good stuff’ is will vary between people.
But deep down, you know what’s good for you.
Memento Mori: A Daily Reminder
And if all else fails, just learn a bit of Latin.
During a Roman victory parade, a slave would accompany the military general on the chariot and repeat the phrase ‘memento mori’, translated to ‘remember you will die’.
This reminded the general of his own mortality and impermanence.
Whenever I find myself getting carried away over something trivial, I always repeat this little phrase to myself.
Do you really want to exert all that effort yelling and beeping at the car that just cut you off when today could be your last?
This little saying can put everything into perspective.
You don’t have to get it tattooed on your wrist.
But please, try and keep it at the forefront of your mind.
Memento mori.
It could even be tomorrow.
