When I set off to embark on an adventure through eight countries, I jokingly dubbed it my ‘European Coffee Snob Tour.’ Well, turns out that’s pretty much what it was.
I was lucky enough to experience some of the best coffee I’ve ever had – but I had to drink my way through a few bitter, over-priced cups of dirty dishwater to get there.
Now, I don’t actually consider myself a coffee snob, I just really enjoy coffee that doesn’t taste like said dishwater. Does that make me crazy?
Well if it doesn’t make me crazy then I suppose compiling a detailed list, ranking each country from worst to best for the beauty of their brews, surely does.
Well I’m gonna do it anyway. Sorry in advance to any Italian readers.
Italy (Rome, Siena, Florence, Geneva):
Yep, it’s almost unbelievable that Italy was the worst, but let me explain.
Things tend to remain the same in Italy. Beautifully made leather, incredibly simple yet delicious pizza, and over the top gesticulating – that’s what makes it such an incredible place to visit.
But some things just need to evolve, including their coffee.
There is no experimentation with coffee in Italy. It pretty much tasted the exact same in all the Italian cities I visited.
This hurts me to write, but most of the coffee I got out at cafés tasted not much different to the espresso pods I was having at my AirBnB.
If you like your coffee to taste like coffee: black, bitter, etc. Italy might be a go to. But if you want a hint of any other flavour, you won’t get that there. At least not in any of the places I visited.
This was the country I was most looking forward to trying coffee in, so I was pretty sad about it. That being said however, the espresso culture is amazing. I just wish the stuff that was in the mug actually tasted better.
Score: 6/10
Albania (Tiranë):
The café culture in Tiranë is top-notch. No matter what time of the day it is, pretty much every café you walk past is full.
Unfortunately I think that’s because the coffee is so damn cheap, not because it tastes brilliant. Seriously though, you can get an espresso for as little as 90 cents in some places.
I also want to give full credit to the Balkan-themed background music, it really makes for an experience that you don’t get elsewhere in Europe. Uh, except in other Balkan countries of course.
If you’re looking for cheap coffee, good vibes and a unique experience – Tiranë is great. But the coffee just tastes, again, like coffee.
Score: 6/10
France (Paris, Lyon, Nice):
Oh dear, where do I even begin here?
When you’re sitting outside at a Parisian café it’s like being in a movie. Women in berets blowing cigarette smoke on you as you devour croissant after croissant and sip your espresso.
It’s probably the most European experience you can get. But it comes at a price.
Like Italy, the coffee tastes pretty average, and you’re paying a hell of a lot more for it. The scenery almost makes this okay. But when you strip it back to just what’s in your mug – it’s…eh.
In the end I basically ended up going to cafés more for the pastries than the coffee. But we ain’t here to rank croissants, are we?
Score: 6/10
Croatia (Zagreb):
If you’re going out for coffee in Zagreb, you pretty much have to resign yourself to the fact that you’re going to walk out of there smelling like hot garbage.
Seriously, there’s pretty much no difference between the scent of a Croatian café and a smoker’s area out the back of an Aussie pub. It actually got to the point where I had to read Google reviews to find which cafe’s had the best ventilation.
As for the coffee, it was actually a bit of a step up. There were some cool places that were experimenting with different flavours, which made braving the wall of secondhand smoke slightly more bearable.
Score: 7/10
Portugal (Porto):
Okay, this is where the coffee starts to go to higher level. Porto had a great balance of cost/tastiness. Whilst it’s not as good as the coffee further down the list, different cafés gave different flavour profiles. Deep caramel-chocolatey goodness in some and lighter fruitier tones (oh god I sound smug here – maybe I am a snob?) in others.
Of course, this would always be accompanied by a pastel de nata, Portugal’s famous custard treat. Seriously, I think the Portuguese have a greater love affair with their pastel de nata’s than us Aussies do with our Vegemite.
Score: 8/10
England (London, Lincoln, The Cotswolds, Brighton & Hove etc.):
Picture me all bright-eyed walking into my first café in Brighton ready to ward off the incoming jet lag with a much-needed caffeine hit.
Then picture that brightness being replaced by a veil of grey as my hope to maintain some level of frugality on my trip is wiped clear as I lay my eyes on the prices for the first time.
The coffee in England is expensive. Like, almost too expensive to actually enjoy. But when it comes to taste it is so much better than I was expecting. It was almost on par with coffee in Australia, if you choose the right places of course.
But the prices, man. It’s like a once a week treat. Any more than that is just painful.
Score: 8/10
Spain (Malaga, Granada):
A fact for your day: drinking coffee by the water instantly makes it better.
Granada, eh. But Malaga, ohhhhh boy. I spent an entire week in Malaga and only went to one coffee shop… but I went there seven times. I know, I probably should have tries other places – but I have a really good reason for my lack of adventure.
The barista actually remembered my name!!!
If you’re a regular café goer, you know how incredible it feels when a barista remembers your name. But when this happens in a foreign country, whilst you’re on holiday, it makes you feel like a damn king.
To top it off, the coffee was amazing and it was only a 5-minute walk to the water. In regards to overall experience, this was my favourite café in Europe. But when it comes to the coffee, there’s just one place I can’t go past.
Score: 8.5/10
Hungary (Budapest):
I usually read a book whilst drinking my coffee, but the coffee in Budapest made me put my book down.
I experienced flavours here that I have never experienced before. Coffee here, to me, is at the pinnacle of what it can be.
Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s almost like you’re paying for an experience – not just a caffeine hit.
The café vibes in Budapest are immaculate. The coffee is next level. So many different flavours and variations – it’s just incredible.
There is nothing more to say.
Score: 10/10
All This To say – Your Results May Vary
Look, I would hate to know how much I spent on coffee during my trip, but it sure made for a more enjoyable experience.
If you’ve been to any of these countries then I’m sure you could’ve had a vastly different experience from me, depending on the cafés you visited.
I am going to give you one piece of advice though:
Go to Zërgë Coffeeshop in Budapest.
Enjoy.
