Procrastination is an expensive thing.
So much so, that people who know how to capitalise on it are now multi-millionares.
In 2023, the self-improvement industry was estimated to be worth $41.2 billion.
This number is projected to reach $81.6 billion by 2032.
That’s some expensive procrastination.
Okay, well maybe not all of it is procrastination…
Most of us really do want to better ourselves, but it’s so easy to fall into the mental masturbation trap that comes with self-improvement content consumption.
Anyone who’s ‘into’ self-improvement has experienced this, even if they aren’t aware of it.
Your learnings are only useful as the action that follows.
After years of my own personal experience, I cannot stress how true that is.
Self-improvement is a feel-good trap.
The stuff that actually works doesn’t feel good at all, and that’s why we avoid it.
This article is a follow-up to this one, I’m just more honest and comfortable now, so I feel like I can yap with more authority.
Lemme’ talk to ya.
Your Memory Sucks, Actually
How big is your ‘books to read’ list right now?
I bet there are some self-improvement books on there that you think will solve whatever problems you’re facing right now.
Quick question…
Think back to the last self-improvement book you read, what are the three main things you remember from it?
Secondly, what action did you take off the back of learning these things?
If you can answer both of these questions confidently, I think you should keep these books on your ‘to read’ list.
If you can’t, delete them.
How about I save you hours, days, weeks, months of procrastination by summarising 10 of the most popular self-improvement books?
Alright, I’ll cook…
1. ”Atomic Habits” by James Clear – Start small by focusing on just one habit and make it automatic. Track your progress daily to reinforce the habit, and optimise your environment for success.
2. ”The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle – Practice mindfulness by focusing on your breath or surroundings whenever you feel anxious. Regularly remind yourself that only the present moment matters.
3. ”The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey – Begin each day by identifying your top priorities and taking responsibility for your actions. Focus on what you can control, and build strong relationships through active listening.
4. ”How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie – Show genuine interest in others by asking them about their passions or opinions. Make others feel important by offering sincere compliments and listening more than you talk.
5. ”Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill – Set clear financial goals and visualise achieving them daily. Back your vision with consistent action and a plan that moves you closer to your desired outcome.
6. ”The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz – Commit to speaking truthfully and avoid gossip. Practice letting go of what others think of you and avoid assumptions by asking questions to gain clarity.
7. ”Mindset” by Carol Dweck – Embrace challenges by viewing them as learning opportunities. When you encounter setbacks, ask yourself what you can learn to do better next time instead of focusing on failure.
8. ”The Mountain Is You” by Brianna Wiest – Acknowledge that self-sabotage often blocks your success. Identify your destructive patterns and replace them with healthier habits to reach your highest potential.
9. ”The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson – Prioritise what truly matters in life by identifying a few key values and focus on them. Let go of the need to please everyone, and say “no” to things that don’t align with your goals.
10. ”Deep Work” by Cal Newport – Schedule uninterrupted time each day for your most important work, and block distractions like social media. Train yourself to focus for longer periods by gradually extending your focus time.
You could now go away and start implementing those, but for some reason that would not be enough.
Take number 10, Deep Work, for example.
You know that you would get more done if you sat down and worked without your phone or social media nearby.
But you won’t.
Because it doesn’t feel good.
And I certainly am not judging you, because I know how hard this is (I checked Twitter two minutes ago, halfway through writing this paragraph).
But still, this answer or actionable step won’t satisfy you because it’s painful, so you’ll keep searching for an easier answer and consuming feel-good motivational content in the process.
Mental masturbation baby.
The Answers Are In Action
See, the biggest trap in the self-improvement space is thinking that you’re being productive whilst reading these books and consuming this content.
This could not be further from the truth.
If you take anything from any article you read on my blog, let it be the next sentence.
The only, yes only, thing that matters in self-improvement, is action.
Reading feels good.
Planning feels good.
Procrastination feels good.
That’s why we call it mental masturbation.
But taking action?
Well, that absolutely sucks.
It’s painful, uncomfortable, scary – and that’s why it’s so hard to do.
But that’s also what makes it so effective.
There was a time in my life where I wanted to get better at talking to strangers.
Instead of doing the seemingly obvious thing (you know, going out and practicing talking to strangers), I tried to find a book about it.
The book told me to go out and practice talking to strangers.
And somehow that spanned over 300 pages.
I felt really good reading it, like I was actually making progress??
Then I finished it, forgot most of what was in it, didn’t feel like going out and talking to strangers because it’s still uncomfortable because I’d been laying in bed alone reading a book about the topic instead of actually exposing myself to the uncomfortable situation of talking to strangers.
Self-improvement, ladies and gentlemen.
Immovable Object vs Unstoppable Force
You will never get where you want to be if you rely on motivation.
Motivation, as a feeling, is fleeting.
We can induce this feeling by consuming motivational content, but you and I both know this isn’t sustainable.
Motivation is fine, up until it meets action.
It’s the whole immovable object vs unstoppable force concept.
You’ve got all the motivation coursing through your veins, then when it’s time to take action you freeze up and do nothing.
The only thing that matters in this entire process is saying yes to that uncomfortable feeling that comes from doing or starting that task you’ve been putting off.
You’re a smart person.
Deep down you know your answers aren’t in a book.
You know you just have to go to the gym, eat less, talk to that person, ask that question.
Deep down you know that.
Please don’t fall into the trap of thinking your answers are anywhere but in the actual action itself.
I have done this far too may times, and it’s cost me years of progress.
You might not like reading this, because you will realise that all the ability to solve the problem or get that thing is already inside you.
That’s powerful, and that’s also terrifying.
Your answers aren’t in a book, my friend, they’re inside you.
Maybe you need to sit in silence and wait for them to come out.
Or maybe you just need to go and do that uncomfortable thing that you’ve been putting off for so long.
Either way, good luck.
I’ll be thinking of ya x
