On January 19 this year, I posted the first article on my website.
As a journalist, I had written and published more than 500 articles… but January 19 was different.
This article was mine, truly mine.
My own thoughts, my own experiences, my own opinions.
Since then, I’ve posted 33 more articles and 34 newsletters (that’s crazy to think about!!!)
What initially started off as somewhat of an anxiety-inducing activity has now turned into the focal point and highlight of my week.
Why am I telling you this?
Because writing and posting online is changing my brain, in ways I didn’t think it would.
I’m learning that all the things I was afraid of are actually what makes this process so rewarding.
I want to tell you about it, so maybe you can experience the same.
Become So Good They Can’t Judge
My biggest fear when I started posting online was people I know in real life finding my content.
I’d say that’s probably your biggest fear too, and I totally understand why.
But there’s a way you can turn this fear into inspiration.
What if you forced yourself to post content so good that, if a real life friend does find it, they can’t help but be impressed?
In my opinion, the two qualities that make for good content are authenticity and vulnerability.
There shouldn’t be much of a disparity between the person you are online and the person your friends know in real life.
If you’re not trying to be someone else, these qualities will automatically shine through in your work.
Yes, the fear of someone you know finding your work can actually help you create better work… funny that.
By this point, most of my closest friends know about my blog and have read my work.
I still get uncomfortable talking about it with them in person, but this is getting easier as time goes on.
It’s an amazing feeling when something you’ve created resonates with a stranger, but it’s an even better feeling when something you’ve created resonates with a close friend.
Having the right people around you can also help keep you accountable for what you post online.
Again, there shouldn’t be much of a disparity between the person your friends know in real life, and the person they see online.
A good friend will call you out if these two personas don’t align.
And that’s a good thing.
The Liberation Of Hate
So I’ve got a little story for you guys.
A couple of months ago I decided to start eating meat again after being vegan for 4+ years.
I decided to film myself eating a steak for the first time and sent it to a couple of my closest friends.
As the budding little content enthusiast I am, I also shared this on my only social media account (which I might tell you about…soon).
Within the first hour, my video was reposted by the creator of the Carnivore Diet, Shawn Baker.
It ended up getting more than 400,000 views…
Yes, more than 400,000 people saw me looking like sh*t whilst munching on a piece of meat (with my mouth open and my lips smacking because I’d forgotten what it was like to actually chew something).
Now as you can imagine, vegans & carnivores are at two very different ends of the spectrum… but both can throw a considerable amount of hate when they feel like it.
And yes, the hate was thrown (some vegans are terrifying).
But I dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged the hate (if you know, you know), and came out the other side (there was also loads of lovely, supportive comments).
So why am I telling you all this?
Because something that I dreaded would happen actually happened…and life just went on.
When you post content online, you open yourself up to a world of judgement and criticism.
You never really know what this feels like until you experience it, but once you do, you realise it’s not actually that bad.
Do you really think the people commenting hateful things actually ruminated on this for the next week?
No.
They commented it, then scrolled onto the next thing and forgot I even existed.
There’s a level of peace that comes with this.
No matter what you post (within reason), people are just going to forget about it anyway.
Having an opinion and posting it for, potentially, thousands of people to see can be terrifying, but it can also be liberating.
And this is where the online world merges with real life.
The Freedom of Being Disliked
“If you are disliked by someone, it is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.”
The Courage to be Disliked – Fumitake Koga & Ichiro Kishimi
When you open yourself up to criticism online, it becomes easier to open yourself up to criticism in real life.
I would not have believed someone if they told me this, but it’s actually bloody true… somehow.
I often talk about the importance of living life in accordance with your values.
To live fully aligned to these values, you have to be aware that you’re going to piss some people off, and that is what usually stops people from living a life of their choosing.
Maturing is realising people are going to hate you no matter what, and that’s okay.
Pissing people off online by simply being you can actually be the gateway you need to start doing this in real life.
If you’ve never posted content online before, that sentence probably scares you, but that’s why I used the example in the previous section.
The freedom to be disliked is liberating, and you will never know what this feels like until you allow yourself to be in a vulnerable position.
To feel like, “yeah, my values are different to those of others, and I’m comfortable with that.”
Doing or saying something that aligns with your values, and knowing people may not agree, is a skill.
And skills can only be practiced through practice.
You probably haven’t noticed, but my articles are slowly becoming more opinionated as time goes on.
I’m starting to become more comfortable telling you all how I really feel, because I’m getting less concerned about the outcome.
The more I do this, the greater chance there is that you will disagree with some of the things I say, and that’s okay.
If you spend your valuable time reading my work, the least I can do is be 100% truthful with you.
Thank you so much for reading.
