How often do you look back on your life and wish you’d worked harder?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Up until this year, I’ve been a chronic time waster.
Even through those wasted years, I’ve had a nagging voice in the back of my head urging me to work harder.
Work harder on what, exactly?
Well, I wasn’t sure – and I think that’s why I never really did it.
It’s taken me until 2024 to finally discover the incredible benefits of disciplined and focused work.
But even with this discovery, there isn’t a part of me that regrets the years I wasted as a teenager and in my early 20s.
Let me explain.
You Didn’t Invest In Bitcoin Either
Looking back on your life and wishing you worked harder is just like wishing you invested in Bitcoin in 2013.
Guess what?
You didn’t.
And no matter how much time you give those thoughts, nothing will change that.
In 2013 I was graduating high school, playing video games for hours with my friends and eating whatever the hell I wanted (I had a bakery attached to my house, yes crazy I know).
All of that indulgence in cheap pleasure must have made me feel like crap, right?
Well… no.
Strangely enough, those were some of the most enjoyable years of my life.
Years when I had no drive, no passion, no self-restraint – all of the things I speak ill of on this blog.
So why were those years so good?
Because back then I knew how to play.
And even more importantly, I knew how to play without guilt.
Ruminating On The Past With New Knowledge
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
Maya Angelou
I think the reason we’re unable to allow ourselves to indulge in play is because of guilt and the fear of being left behind.
Indulging in pleasure when you don’t know any better is so enjoyable because of that exact reason – you don’t know any better.
Why the hell would I sit down and write a blog post at 17, when I can play Call of Duty with five of my friends?
The latter would, and did, bring me infinitely more joy.
At this age, I saw work as just that – work.
I didn’t, until recently, see what focused, disciplined work could give me.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but we often look back at time wasted through rose-tinted glasses.
We reminisce on an old version of ourselves with new knowledge that we didn’t have at the time.
This, in itself, is why looking back and wishing you did something differently is completely pointless.
I knew how to play without guilt back then because I wasn’t aware of the alternative yet.
But suddenly, when you do become aware of the alternative, this ability to play slowly fades away.
And that’s another problem you have to find a solution to.
It’s All A Matter Of Balance
“I always felt I had to keep working. People sacrifice their playfulness, their joyfulness, being driven by unconscious needs to validate their existence. Play is so important, joy is so important.”
Dr Gabor Maté
Humans suck at finding balance.
It’s why Achilles, in his quest for glory, let his pride lead him to unnecessary conflicts that ultimately resulted in his death.
It’s why Zuko killed Tui, the moon spirit in Avatar, plunging the world into darkness.
And it’s why you, on your little old path to salvation, struggle to switch off and allow yourself to appreciate elements of life away from the grind (talking to myself here too).
We tend to trade one extreme for the other.
Even if we’re jumping from an unhealthy habit to a healthy one, these extremities can still be a problem.
It’s human nature to latch onto an idea or persona and neglect the things that don’t align with it.
I do it.
And I know you do it too.
You’re trying to improve yourself and work towards a specific goal, so how will jumping online for a game of Call of Duty or going out drinking with your friends bring this goal closer?
It won’t.
But being able to identify that it won’t, yet still being able to do it and enjoy it, is a bloody rare skill to have.
So how can you do this?
You Have To Start Focusing On The Journey
My overarching purpose is the exact same as yours – to live a happy and fulfilled life.
The only true way to do this is by focusing on the journey, not the destination.
Ugh, so cheesy – but seriously, I cannot stress the importance of this enough.
Whilst I have big goals that I would love to achieve through this blog, I do not write to specifically achieve those goals (because achieving those goals is a perceived destination).
I have not started this blog to be busy.
I do not wake up early on a Saturday morning to write this post because I love the ‘grind.’
I do this because I identified a gap in my life (creativity) that needed to be filled.
Writing this, right now, is bringing me true creative joy (this is the journey).
Let’s say this blog post blew up and got 1 million views – that’s amazing.
But it won’t, and that’s okay, because the few hours I’ve spent writing it has genuinely made my day better.
I’m in this for the journey, not the destination.
I don’t regret the time wasted in my 20s because if I were to start a blog, it wouldn’t have been for the right reasons.
I can confidently say that I believe this blog post will benefit your life in some way.
But there is absolutely no chance a 20-year-old me could have written this, because I didn’t have the knowledge to do so.
It’s not just as simple as wishing you’d ‘working harder’, because without a purpose and clear goal in mind – most of the work you do would be wasted anyway.
Again, I bring you back to an earlier quote – “do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.”
You didn’t know better back then.
Even if you think you did, you’re looking back at an old version of yourself with new knowledge.
That’s unfair.
Stop reminiscing on time wasted.
Instead, appreciate the fact that you’re lucky enough to have the present moment to implement your new-found knowledge.
And always remember, memento mori.
